Assault on Wall Street

Year 2013

Dominic Purcell as  Jim Baxford
Erin Karpluk as Rosie Baxford  
Edward Furlong   as Sean
John Heard as Jeremy Stancroft  
Keith David as Freddy
Michael Paré as Frank
Director - Uwe Boll
Screenwriter - Uwe Boll

Ewe Boll claws and scratches his way to mediocrity in Assault on Wall Street. In fact, some parts of the movie are excellent - a couple of seconds here, a full minute there, and a couple of minutes strung together on occasion. In the end, it's still Ewe Boll.

I shouldn't act like I know a lot about Ewe Boll as a director, because I don't. The couple of times that I've tried to watch a Ewe Boll film, BloodRayne: The Third Reich and In the Name of the King: A Dungeaon Siege Tale, it was a race between finding the remote on the couch or my lunch on the floor. Until Assault on Wall Street, those were my only two experiences with a movie by Ewe Boll.

I can't say that I dislike Ewe Boll. He's like a Y2K version of Ed Wood. He likes what he does and he's living the dream. He's just not a very good director. Or screenwriter for that matter. And it isn't my dream that he's living.

First the plot. A man watches his life unravel as a result of his trusting unscrupulous people, i.e. commission driven stock brokers, with his nest egg. As the dominos fall when AIG takes a plunge, Jim Baxford (Purcell) loses everything but his life. I don't think Purcell had any acting ability to begin with, so you can't blame the AIG debacle for that. Pushed to the limit, Baxford pushes back. Or maybe he just pulls back...on the trigger of his gun. Lots of head shots, like in a video game, and a couple of immediately fatal shots to the hips as well.

Reality? Ewe Boll? But it's sad that the movie fails on this. There's lots of footage of television financial center interviews that look like they really took place. So, Ewe's trying to be professional and relavent. But he flubs it.

A woman, someone named Rosie (Karpluk) who happens to be Jim Baxford's wife, is crying because life is crashing down around her. Her solution? Sex. I've never, ever met a woman who needed sex when she felt like she was at the end of her rope. "I can't afford treatment for my cancer, let's have sex." "They're foreclosing on the house? Let's have sex." Ewe Boll needs to realize that there's a big difference between showing that you care for someone and sex. The two are not interchangeable, unless you never got past the age of 18.

But maybe Rosie's just not right in the head. She did have a brain tumor, after all. The doesn't explain her husband Jim. My parts are NOT assembled to work if my world is crashing down around me and my wife is crying, But Jim Baxford's are. And what kind of a last name is Baxford? Is it Bradford or Baxter, Ewe? Make up your mind. What's next? Bradter? Or a name like Stancroft? Oh, sorry. You used that one, too.

Most of the acting is poor. Purcell is dull, Rosie is dippy, and Eric Roberts as an attorney is less than convincing.

It's not like Ewe didn't have Keith David to work with. Keith David should have had the part of Jim Baxford. He would've been great. He probably also wouldn't have said some of the dumb things Purcell did. I can only hope that English is Ewe Boll's second language because he has no command of it.

John Heard is another actor that was reasonable in his part. Surprisingly, even Michael Paré was worth watching.

The shots chosen by the director were baffling. Close-ups of the backs of shirts had me wondering. Jump editing of people's faces made me queasy. Conversations with people off-camera gave it a high-school production vibe. I've seen more polished HBO specials.

The beginning of this movie was slow, but it was a slow burn. As one bad thing after another happened to Jim Baxford, you knew that it could happen to you, the viewer, as well. It was tough to watch because the unfolding situation cut close to the bone. This pacing is why the movie rates something other than cellar dweller status. It was very good.

But when Jim cracked and finally assaulted Wall Street, I felt that he went a bit too far. Oh, sure, a couple of deaths would've been fine. Sure. But to fire one of those deadly extremity shots at unknown passers-by? I realize that philosophically no one is truly innocent, but within the movie, shouldn't Baxford be restricted to targetting the real "evil" he is assaulting...on Wall Street.

The ending, although not too clever, was still better than I would have expected from Ewe Boll.

No nudity, but there is profanity and blasphemy. Nothing special but nothing that bad. The building tension works somehow. Chick flick potential is pretty low.

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