Invasion of the Bee Girls

Year 1973

William Smith as   Neil Agar
Anitra Ford as Dr. Susan Harris  
Victoria Vetri   as Julie Zorn
Cliff Osmond as Captain Peters
Wright King as Dr. Murger
Ben Hammer as Herb Kline
Anna Aries as Nora Kline  
Sid Kaiser   as Stan Williams
Director - Denis Sanders
Screenwriter - Nicholas Meyer

With a clever title like Invasion of the Bee Girls, your expectations are up a little bit. In case you don't know, a B-Girl is a Bar Girl or a hooker who works bars and the businessmen (another B word!) who frequent them. So, you assume that Bee Girls are all about sex and with the pun in the title, the movie's not to be taken seriously.

What a plot! At a special government facility in the small town of Peckham, California, radiation has produced women who are part bee. Somehow, copulating with these women produces a heart attack in their male companions. Because there's secret research going on, the death of one of the researchers means that the State Department has to get involved in the investigation.

It's all so wonderfully silly!

The queen bee-girl, Dr. Susan Harris (Ford), turns regular women into bee-girls and the bee-girls keep mating and the males keep dying. I think that the final male body count exceeded a dozen in a three day period.

There are little jokes throughout. One scientist comments that men dying while having an orgasm are, "Coming and going at the same time." Then there's Dr. Kline's wife who tells her sexually ignored husband, "I'd have sex with you if I thought you'd die."

As goofy as everything is, the acting isn't too bad. William Smith, who usually plays villains, plays government agent Neil Agar. He's a poor man's Charles Bronson. Cliff Osmond as Police Chief/Captain Peters is also a pretty good actor. Sid Kaiser as Dr. Stan Williams is really funny when he complains about those "damned bees" (actually it's "those GD bees" but I don't like to blaspheme). Anitra Ford, as beautiful as she is, thinks that acting is beneath her or maybe she just can't act.

There are some clever devices in the movie, so it's not completely unimaginative. For example, one of men who has to die because he might know the truth is gay. So, the girls can't kill him with sex. They run him over with a car. This is an instance where the gay character actually advances the plot because of his sexual interests. It's not done for yucks, so it's a cool way to have a homosexual character.

You'll find yourself talking to the movie. Like the scene where Agar finds a hidden "room" that's nearly as big as the rest of the house. I said, "A fifteen hundred square foot exterior and a seven hundred square foot interior? Way to notice the discrepancy, Sherlock!"

Or how Agar gets the Secretary of State to quarantine the city and traffic gets backed up for miles with people leaving (or are they entering?) the town.

Or the big confrontation between Dr. Harris and Agar. He barges in on her and he's adamanant about needing to have important questions answered. It's a big bruh-ha-ha but he wins. His questions? There's just one and it's, "Do queen bees mate more than once?" Or something like that. But really. That's it?

A lot of the explanations in the movie follow no logic. How does anyone know that sex killed the guys? I dunno. How does Agar come up with bees as the missing clue about the deaths? Absurd logic. What about the explanation for the mutant bees? I guess you can mix estrogen and androgen genes in cells to get a mutation. What? Or how does shooting a "lever" (it's a power switch really) cause poison gas to be released? I dunno.

But the women are borderline gorgeous and it's about as softcore pornographic as you can get. If you have a lesbian fetish, then there's a scene with bee-girls rubbing another woman with some white goop and later there's a short but effective kiss.

Nearly every woman in the movie appears topless at least once. Victoria Vetri even gives a glimpse of full frontal nudity. Keep in mind that these are all undoctored (Scientists? Doctors? Nevermind.) women who should be proud of their luck in the gene pool. At one point a couple of the women seemed a little too plastic and it felt like porn, but for the most part it just felt like watching some very pretty women next door.

There are different versions of this movie. Stay away from the MGM version for a little extra flesh. The least attractive of the women is Anna Aries but when she's completely nude in the non-MGM version, even she looks desirable.

There's lots of brief nudity but no profanity. Thanks to Dr. Stan there's blasphemy. It's too horrible to be considered a good movie but it's too enjoyable to be considered bad. I doubt if there's any chick flick potential. Definitely none in my house.

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