Movies that Are Indeed Shabby

These morsels are the Jack in the Box tacos of filmdom. Have you ever had a Jack in the Box taco? All of the ingredients for a taco are there. You've got your meat, cheese and lettuce in a taco shell that's been deep fried. For that extra zing, you've also got your hot sauce.

That's a taco, right?

Except that the meat is some sort of purée that might or might not be mostly, technically beef. And the cheese isn't really some variant of shredded cheddar but a half slice of some yellow/orange processed cheeze product. And the lettuce is the wrong color for lettuce bordering on a faded white shade. And finally there's the hot sauce which is, for want of a better term, "sauce".

There is nothing in the world like a Jack in the Box taco. And when you want a Jack in the Box taco, which unfortunately for my stomach and other regions happens on occassion, there's no substitute. You just have to have a Jack in the Box taco!

Well, these movies are like that. Technically, they're movies. They have actors who recite lines and it's all captured for posterity.

But the actors don't always know their lines or they ham it up or the editor isn't sure what order the scenes should go in or the music is a talentless cliché or the scenery is paper maché or something else is a gaffe.

But it's not something you might necessarily turn off. And when you want a movie like this, well, nothing else will do.


Like an old coat that's beyond being merely shabby, here are the movies that are frayed and torn and frayed again.

Afro Samuri
American Psycho
Any Gun Can Play
Assault on Wall Street
Assignment: Outer Space
Bad Country
Bad Lieutenant
Beyond the Time Barrier
Boondock Saints: All Saints Day
The Brain Machine
Bulldog Drummond Escapes - Moldy Oldie
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Captain Ron
The Cat o' Nine Tails
Choke
Climate Hustle
Dark Passage - Moldy Oldie
The Descent
Die Sister, Die
Die, Monster, Die!
Deadwood '76
Destination Tokyo - Moldy Oldie
Down in the Valley
The Equalizer
Fear in the Night - Moldy Oldie
The Fountain
From a Whisper to a Scream
The Giant Gila Monster
God's Gun
Goke: Body Snatcher from Hell
The Great Flamarion - Moldy Oldie
Great Guy - Moldy Oldie
Grudge Match
Gun Crazy
Hard Candy
The Hearse
Inception
Identity Thief
Invaders from Mars
Invasion of the Bee Girls
Iron Man 2
The Italian Job (1969)
Kansas City Confidential - Moldy Oldie
Lady in the Lake
Land of the Minotaur
The Last Boy Scout
The Living Skeleton
The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra
The Man from Planet X
Marat/Sade
Messiah of Evil
A Most Wanted Man
My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done
New Rose Hotel
Nick Of Time
The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave
The November Man
The Old Fashioned Way
Parents
The Pay-Off - Moldy Oldie
The Petrified Forest - Moldy Oldie
Pit and the Pendulum
Prime Cut
Quicksand - Moldy Oldie
The Red House - Moldy Oldie
Redemption
Repo Man
Revolver
R.I.P.D.
Run Lola Run
Sabrina - Moldy Oldie
St. Vincent
Scarlet Street - Moldy Oldie
The She Beast
Shutter Island
A Snake of June
The Strange Love of Martha Ivers - Moldy Oldie
Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance
Ten Minutes to Live - Moldy Oldie
They Live
Thin Ice
Too Late for Tears - Moldy Oldie
El Topo - Not a Moldy Oldie but feels like it
Topper Returns - Moldy Oldie
The Transporter
Tropic Thunder
Village of the Damned (John Carpenter)
Vertigo
The Wasp Woman